being a parent is hard...

But I'm not talking about what you are thinking.  Sure dirty diapers, late night feedings, PUMPING, getting peed and pooped on are all hard, but i'm talking about emotionally.  About 2 weeks after she was born, we all (bryan, my mom, and me) thought she was looking small still.  My mom and I took her in to the doctor just to get a weight check.  She had only gained a couple of ounces from her lowest point of 6 lbs 9 oz.  She was born at 7 lbs 8 oz.  Her pediatrician said to just try and feed her more often.  He thought she would be fine, but, to come back in a few days to check her weight again.  After being even more vigilant about feedings, waking her up, which was really hard to do, she still hadn't gained hardly anything.  The pediatrician said she was starving and that's why she wasn't gaining weight.  I didn't know how this was possible since I had been so careful to feed her every two hours.  That pediatrician made me feel like crap.  She didn't try and figure out why she wasn't gaining weight, she just gave us some formula and said "okay, feed her this".  That was it.  I was bawling, thinking I was a horrible mother.  I tried my hardest and failed completely.  The best thing that pediatrician ever did was give me the number of a lactation consultant.  The lactation consultant came over to my home that night and laid all my fears to rest.  After watching olive nurse, she came to the conclusion that olive wasn't sucking correctly.  Basically olive was just lapping up what milk she could and wasn't getting anything extra.  So when I thought I was feeding her for a long time, she wasn't getting hardly anything.  The lactation consultant came up with a plan to help us get back on track.  After a lot of work and stress, olive weighs over 8 lbs and is still gaining :)  

My heart just ached when she would cry...I would give anything to make my little girl happy and healthy.  That is why being a parent is hard.  The worrying and heartache and worrying!  I would hold her in my arms and just cry and plead with her to just EAT!  I'm so grateful for the lactation consultant who helped figure out WHY she wasn't eating rather than just saying, here have this formula.  I am just glad she is back on track :) I didn't know I could love her THIS much.  That baby girl makes me so happy.

And now for some pictures...

look at those big peepers!

happy girl

grandma lynne got some smiles out of her :)

Introducing Olive Louise

It has only been a couple of weeks and the details of Livie's (I'm trying out different nicknames) birth are already becoming a bit hazy, so, I decided I better get it down on paper...err type it out.  Here goes!

It all started on August 22nd when I had my 38 week ob/gyn appointment.  Bryan and I went to the appointment thinking it would be a routine "yup everything looks normal, see you next week" kind of an appointment, but that day I also had an ultrasound.  The ultrasound revealed that the baby was comfortable and was about 7ish lbs.  BUT, the ultrasound also revealed that the amniotic fluid in the placenta was dangerously low.  My doctor thought perhaps my water had already broken and was a little upset with me for not coming in sooner.  I said I never felt like it had broken, so just to be safe he sent me over to the hospital to check and see if in fact my water had broken.  It hadn't.  But the doctor wanted to keep me at the hospital for 24 hours to try and get the fluids in the placenta back up to normal levels.  Bryan and I were both thinking that I was going to deliver that day.  I'm not gonna lie...that was a horrible night.  I had only gotten two hours of sleep the previous night and this night I was hooked up to a couple of different machines, one of them being fluids.  Well, those extra fluids made me have to get up and pee about every 45 minutes.  But I needed help unhooking from the other machines so I had to wake bryan up every 45 minutes to help me go to the bathroom.  He was incredibly sweet about it.  To further my discomfort, I wasn't allowed to eat anything.  So I hadn't eaten since before my ob/gyn appointment at 1pm and it was closing in on 1130pm.  The hospital finally called my doctor who then allowed me to eat again. Bryan went and got me some taco bell :)  The next day they discharged me around 3:30pm because my fluids albeit low, were at least in the normal range.  My doctor made me promise to drink at least a half gallon of fluids everyday until my next appointment.  My next appointment was on Monday, August 27th at 9am with a specialist to see what he recommended about my low amniotic fluid.

how i felt about being cooped up in the hospital :(

Monday finally (I say finally because at this point, my belly is huge and my back hurts pretty much all of the time at this point) comes and what do you know, it is the day hurricane Isaac hit us in south Florida.  We drove to the specialist's office in some crazy torrential winds and rains.  We planned on this being an "okay, fluids look good, see your regular doctor on your next scheduled appointment" alas, we were wrong again.  My fluid was still in the low normal range, but the specialist said his recommendation was to just induce me as I was at 39 weeks anyway.  It was at that moment Bryan and I thought, "this is happening, we are going to have a baby today!"

We get to the hospital and we have to wait in the waiting room for an open bed.  I guess hurricane Isaac made a lot of pregnant girls pop because we waited for about an hour!  Once we got in the room we would deliver our baby in, it really started to sink in.  THIS IS HAPPENING!  We had a bag of stuff for me and the baby packed, but foolishly didn't bring it with us in the car because we thought we would be coming home again.  So the nurse comes in at about 5pm and starts me on an IV of pitocin and puts two monitors around my belly: one for monitoring the baby's heartbeat and one for monitoring the intervals between and intensity of my contractions.  My doctor comes in a few minutes later and breaks my water.  (I was pretty scared for this "breaking the water" thing.  sounds painful, but it wasn't at all) Then he says now we wait until I am dilated enough and the contractions are closer together.  The doctor said it usually takes about 10+ hours for me to dilate enough to start pushing. I was dilated at a 2 at this point.  Doc leaves, and Bryan leaves to pick up the bag for me and the baby.  An hour and a half later he gets back and I am having reaaallly unpleasant contractions at this point.  My phone had died so I couldn't call him to tell him to hurry up and get back here!  haha  But, he made it back and at this point I was ready for the epidural.  There was never any doubt in my mind whether or not I would get an epidural.  I was going to get one.  But, I'd heard horror stories about epidurals so I was extremely nervous!  I waited for Bryan to get back so he could hold my hand through it.  He makes everything better :)  But, my anesthesiologist was AWESOME, and it didn't hurt at all.  It felt like someone was rubbing my spine...weird.  But the epidural kicked in and within a few short minutes the pain from my contractions was gone.  wahoo!  But my legs felt like logs of jello.  I couldn't move them for the life of me.  I felt this was a fair trade for not feeling any contraction pain though.

9pm rolls around and I'm dilated to a 4.  We both thought I would be dilated at more than a 4 after four hours, but whatevs, I wasn't in any pain.  Luckily I had Bachelor Pad and then Grimm to keep me entertained.  At 10:30pm I threw up.  First time I'd thrown up during my whole pregnancy.  I'm just glad Bryan found something to catch it in in time!  (so is he for that matter)  At this point I'm starting to feel the contractions again.  Not super painful, but I can definitely feel them.  I told my nurse this, and she checks again to see how dilated I am.  We were all thinking that since it took me four hours to gain 2 centimeters that I wouldn't be much further along.  Wrong again!  I was dilated to a 10!  The nurse was also surprised and went to call the doctor to come in.  I couldn't believe this was happening...it was  almost time to push.

The doctor gets there at 11:30 pm.  They prop me up...at first I'm feeling pretty awkward, but, I think to myself, this is natural and they've done this a million times.  That helps me relax a little bit.  I start pushing when I feel contractions.  I was SO surprised at how, oddly enough, ENJOYABLE this part was.  I wasn't in pain, and I dunno, I felt like I was doing the most important job I had ever done.  The doc, the nurse, and Bryan all tell me I'm doing great and she is advancing with each push.  This is encouraging.  After only a few pushes, she is starting to crown.  A few more pushes and the doctor pulls her out.  She is born at 12:15am on Tuesday August 28th.  They put a towel over me and place her on me.  And you know what the little squirt does?  She poops on me.  haha The first thing baby girl did in this life was poop on her mom.  I think that is a sign of events to come ;)

little bug!  she didn't have a name yet...

brand new little person! 

olive and me just a few minutes after she was born

Everything was a little surreal at this point.  I couldn't believe I just pushed this little baby out, I couldn't believe how perfect she was.  I had so many emotions I didn't really know what to feel.  After the epidural wore off they took me to a recovery room where we spent the next couple of days.  Bryan was a trooper for sleeping on the most uncomfortable couch ever and being at my side through every second.  I am so grateful for him...he is my north star.  The one thing that keeps me grounded.  We sent lots of texts, took lots of pictures and skyped a TON to keep everyone up-to-date and to meet little miss olive.  Oh, yeah, it took us like...3 days to name her.

All in all, it was a FANTASTIC experience.  I was scared out of my mind for everything...I didn't think I could do it.  I am so blessed and grateful that it went so well.  Bryan and I are so happy...we just love our little Livie Lou!

and so it begins...

 I have been pushing this day off for a while now, but, the time has come for me to start a blog about our life here in sunny FLORIDA.  I feel like a real mom now since all moms blog...right?  So, dear friends and family, feel free to check back here periodically to get updates on miss OLIVE and our marvelous life in florida!  I will have to do some back tracking and post about her birth {I will keep this PG, no sense in scaring the kids}, but for now, here are some pics to tide you over: 

daddy giving the little squirt a bath

clean baby doll!

sleepy girl!  she sure loves this blanket...thanks aunt deanne!